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consider this a moment of weakness:

from If It Spoke For Itself by Johnas & Connelly

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lyrics

only the intellect
could depict such a lovely image
that spent the last five nights
stapled to the inside of my eyelids
in that hypnogogic state
expectations were exceeded
but the dopamine crash the morning after
lends to my regressing

slip of judgement and a sonnet sent to you
shortly after giving a book of poems
to a muse i couldn't help but pursue
for this duplicite lapse of weakness

the reward an art piece
lyrics for my digressions
self-directed melodramas
fuel the creative stupors that i bathe in
maybe think twice, pull the reigns back
start that meditation i'd promised
my l.a. guru
twice a day i'd do
despite the mind's resistance

now a memory of malibu comes flooding in
you walked bare and pale on the desert trail
when i stopped you in your tracks
dis-impassioned, still pulled you near
so bland, so listless
as you left a piece of me on the path

clenched fist in the lowest pit
another missed sunrise to purge it
a sleepless ache
not of dissimilar taste
to when once waking beside you
is that a subtle hint of regret
upon further dissection
second sonnet sent of adulation
were they words of desperation?

isolation in these hills or all this well water drank?
how timely an apology and the proclamation of love returning
the night you stayed claimed as a booty-call made me think
could that have really been my intention?
renewal the result of being rejected
by an apparition too unattainable
for the deceptive hypocrite
that i only occasionally
sometimes try not to be?

credits

from If It Spoke For Itself, released March 31, 2019

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Johnas & Connelly Banff, Alberta

Johnas & Connelly is a Rocky Mountain duo rooted in evergreen-fresh folk and small-town splendor. Inspired by canyons, caves, and excruciating break-ups, the pair uses thoughtfully-woven vocal harmonies and seasoned fingerpicking to honestly channel emotion-filled experiences into mindful art. ... more

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